Every child is unique

A lovely day to you mummy's and mummy's to be. Today the world celebrate the girl child. In most parts of the world especially Africa the girl child is often second rated compared to the boy child who are considered more special because they retain the family name even after marriage. Today, I like us to remember that every child boy or girl are unique in their own right. God created us in his image and likeness. He said we are wonderfully and fearfully made. He did not say one Sex was inferior to the other! The world must stop sex discrimination and embrace the uniqueness in every one. The girl child and boy child have a role to play in making the world a better place for us to live in... show them love, stop being biased, stop segregating, stop favoritism... #everychildisunque in his or her own way!

Reasons why you should stop tearing down your husband

It is every woman's dream to get married to her heart rob or that man that brings out the best in her. There is however no such thing 'AS A PERFECT MARRIAGE'! The days of courtship is totally different from actually living together as husband and wife. Many women tend to grumble that their husbands are not as fun to be with compared to when they were courting and so tear down their husbands at every slightest provocation. It's always easy to find the negative about your husband, but focusing on his good attributes is necessary for a healthy and happy marriage. 1.Speaking negatively invites more negativity. It like pouring petrol into fire, it leads to more animosity and bad blood. 2. Instead, try speaking about positive traits or do not talk at all to avoid saying hurtful words. Things will turn out fine if you appreciate the good more than complaining about the bad. I read a doctors prescription to a woman who complained that her husband had temper issues, the doctor advised that she sips a cup of water and hold it in her mouth any time her husband is upset and many weeks down the line she called to inform the doctor that his prescription was working like magic! She wanted to know how holding water in the mouth can keep her husband down..... i bet your guess is as good as mine. 3. Whether you are negative to his face or behind his back, hurtful words cause more damage than repairs. It is counter productive to continue rehashing past faults... Let by gone be by gone, move on and make the best of each day as we all have just one life to live. Way forward: 1. Try building him up as often as possible by complimenting the things he does, thank him for providing for the family, tell him you love him, tell him he is a great dad and thank him when he compliments you too. 2. Marriage takes team work and being on the same side. If you are constantly working against each other your team which is your marriage would fall apart. No sportsman will record any victory if he/she does not work in unity of purpose with team mates. 3. Work together: good and effective communication, bonding as a couple and building each other up are very necessary for a healthy marriage. Working together for solutions is a lot easier when you speak with respect and love to your husband. kindness, love and respect can go a long way in improving behaviour and learning to be a term. Avoid tearing down your husband. Find the wonderful things about him that you that you fell in love with and focus on those. This world will be more peaceful with happier marriages, relationships and homes. Yours truly, Ezinne Adelaja.

What to do when your spouse won't talk!

Couple Arguing, Disagreements, disappointments and arguments can lead to times when you just want to be in separate rooms. Seems so much easier to not even look at each other, right? Well, with communication being one of the vital keys to a successful marriage, that can’t last for long. So, if you have a spouse that doesn’t want to talk or you may be having a hard time voicing your concerns because you are just too upset, it is very important to find a way to communicate. Don’t know what to do? Here are some very successful ways to get the communication going again in your marriage. Pick one, pick two, or go with them all…..but, you will be talking again after you try these! 1. Type an Email- There have been times we also couldn’t even get a word out to each other, or could bare to even look at each other because we were so upset. But, what email does is to re-open the line of communication so that at least things can start to work through. This is also a way for both spouses to say what is on their mind in a quiet way (without the sound of yelling, mumbling, or grunts of frustrations). Emailing is also a way to type out what your thinking really fast, then go back and edit those “not so nice” words before you hit the send button. Once the line of communication is back open, email back and forth until you both are ready to schedule a time to talk about it. 2. Send a Text- Hey! This is 2015 right? We all have phones and use them religiously, so why not use what you already have? If you have something on your mind to say to your spouse and just can’t get it out to their face, a simple text could help. Remember, keep your texts respectful. You may be upset or remorseful, but voice yourself with class and dignity. Words can take seconds to say (or text), and years to heal. 3. Write a Letter- This is our absolute favorite! We have done this multiple times, through good and bad times, and it works. There is something about putting pencil to paper. It is the most personal touch you can do to re-opening the line of communication with each other. Take a piece of paper, sit in a quiet place and really think about what is bothering you or how to say your apologies. Don’t only think about your perspective, but think about the situation from the spouse’s perspective also (this creates a better letter that reflects change and maturity). Again, be wise and be respectful while writing. We want to re-open communication, not shut it back down. After you’re finished, write at the end that they can write a letter back or if they are ready, schedule a time to talk. Leave it where they can find it without you around. 4. Leave a Voicemail- A spouse not answering the phone can be so aggravating, right? Wait. Breathe. Don’t let it get the best of you, you get the best of it. Leave a voicemail. But before you do, be sure you are NOT “on edge” and extremely upset. Settle down a little first, before making this call again. If you are calling to apologize…..be sympathetic, sincere and sensitive to your spouse’s feelings. This is not always effective, but your marriage is always worth a try. 5. Post-It Notes- Quick and easy! Little notes left around the house can be effective and also romantic. “I’m Sorry for …………” or “I won’t do that again because I see how much it hurt you”……or even “You mean so much more……”, can be small ways to open up communication while adding a little love. Leave them posted on mirrors, refrigerators, closet doors, steering wheels…anywhere you know they will be found. Be creative, but also seriously considering the feelings of your spouse. 6. Give a Gift- Not always encouraged, but if this is your spouse’s love language, it could possibly work. Flowers or fruit baskets delivered to their job, or a small heart shaped pendant. Either way, gifts are always eye-catchy or most of the time accepted. Attach a small note to your gift to encourage a talk so that you can start to end any disagreement or disappointments. 7. Involve your older children - tell them you have made your spouse anger and you need them to help tell your spouse that you are very sorry. No spouse will turn the other cheek at their children's plead to make peace between daddy and mummy. Your marriage is worth every attempt to successful communication with your spouse. Let us know which way works or has worked for you! Best wishes, Ezinne Adelaja.

You can't afford to get it wrong... don't wait for your child to become a victim before you lay the cards on the table.

Here are a list of things you need to teach your Children at early age:→ 1:▶ Warn your Girl/boy Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles. 2:▶ Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself. 3:▶ Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'. 4:▶ Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves. 5:▶ Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult. 6:▶ Once a very child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child. 7:▶ Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values. 8:▶ It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves. 9:▶ Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often. 10:▶ Teach your 3 year old's how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember charity begins from home and with you). 11:▶ Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families). 12:▶ Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the crowd. 13:▶ Once your child complains about a particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them. Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be. Please forward to all relatives and friends who either have children or would. All the best as we give guidance. I remain yours truly, Ezinne Adelaja.

Heart to Heart Matters

Good day wonderful mummy's, You are all welcome to another segment of my blog titled heart to heart matters. I'm especially thankful to God for the gift of life and parenting. I see my children unfolding their uniqueness and potentials daily and I marvel at the wonderful work of God in my care. There is no utter of doubt that parenting isn't child's play but when we consider all the self discovery that occurs after the much dreaded nine months of pregnancy, the unspeakable joy that envelopes you the moment you bring forth, when you hear the tiny winy cry, feel the grabbing of your finger, see the smile on their face while they suck or sleep, then you see them sit, crawl, grab more, stand, walk, blab, talk, shatter, tap you, report, complain, run around and do all those other activities that children love to do so well and more!  Yes oh, a whole lot of transformation/ phase in life occurs and many a times faster than light if I may say.  As they grow, it gets to the stage where they begin to ask so many questions and it beats me when they ask question you dread answering not for lack of having the right answer but because you assume your children are to young to understand the answer you may have. My dear parents, believe me when I say it's always better you answer their questions no matter how silly it may sound than to have them ask your house help, driver or teachers stuff they should learn from you. You ought to encourage your children to feel free around you and you feel free around them too. Being firm is no excuse to be uptight and unapproachable. Let your children see you as their confidant and friend. The way you lay your bed is how you lie on it is a popular saying and as it concerns our relationship with our children, I believe they need us now as much as we will need them in future. Establish a bond that will stand the test of time, create family fun memoirs, traditions and values. Parenting is lots of fun and responsibilities, it's God's gift to you without sorrow... don't spoil what God meant for good by pushing your children away from you all in the name of being busy, this action may back fire! I'm certain many of you will reconsider some of your actions and reactions and do what is right in God's sight and in your children's life for a happier future so help us God.  Till another edition of Heart to Heart matters, I remain yours truly,  Ezinne Adelaja.

TRADING PLACES!

God is really awesome!

Mothers, please what do you see in your child/ children that puts a smile on your face and you just have the push from within to keep giving them your all? My girls are simply amazing though they could be a handful but their readiness to rub my feet when I'm tried from standing for so long, helping willingly with chores and most importantly telling me how much they love me melts my heart.... I can't trade my Motherhood .... Can you?

WISDOM FOR WIVES

As a Wife, Your BEAUTY attracts your husband, but your WISDOM will continue to keep him! Your ELEGANCE catches his ATTENTION, but your INTELLIGENCE convinces him! NAGGING irritates your husband, but your "Constructive Silence" weakens him! Remember that the "boyish" character in your husband comes out occasionally, But your ability to always handle it, is a sign that you are a MATURED WIFE! Every man has "Secret Struggles and Pains, including your husband, if you should ever find them out from him, Please exhibit the greatest maturity by asking the Originator of your marriage, (God) to help you with USEFUL IDEAS, that you will suggest to him (your husband)! In the long-run, your WORDS matters to your husband than your "LOOKS"! So always invest the RIGHT WORDS! Earn your husband's respect and he will consider you as the yard-stick for all his actions! Learn to mould your husband's moods, and he will naturally give you his "FUTURE" as he recalls your maturity in the past issues! Note that, WOMEN are everywhere, but REAL WIVES are scarce, let the QUEEN in you come alive, and your husband will always hold you in a very HIGH ESTEEM! Please don't be selfish, forward this to every wife you know, so that we will together make the "BEST MARRIAGES" In our society. Enjoy every day of your marriage..... We care, Ezinne Adelaja.