Ways to reduce Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry / fighting/ not being able to stand each other dates many years back. Meanness to siblings or any one is not a happy/ healthy habit. I recall my immediate younger sister (of blessed memory) and I were like cat and mouse growing up, it was not a pleasant sight to behold. God gave my father the wisdom to send us to SU summer camp where we learnt a lot from the word of God and that experience changed our attitude towards each other and helped us maintain a good sisterly friendship. Through years of experience I have witnessed that children will respond to what ever their parents think is important, things they place highest value on e.g some family believe in prayers, some attaining good grades, being respectful, some combine all these n more as their core family value system and it helps to direct the path of their children. As for me, the under listed has helped me with my girls: 1. I treat each of them fairly. Give reasons for differential treatment to other siblings e.g a baby needs more care n attention to older siblings, sick/ physically weak son or daughter needs more attention e.t.c. 2. Keep them as closely knit as possible i.e make them eat from same plate, drink from same cup, share bed, share playing stuff, look out for each other, read together, do homework together and cultivate the habit of telling you just 5 good things about themselves daily. 3. Teach them to respect each other, hugging and saying I love you to themselves ,speaking gently and sensible to each other and use the 5 magic words ( please, excuse me, sorry, thank you and pardon me) accordingly. 4. As a parent don't take sides when correcting them, it is only fair each offender is punished appropriately. 5. Do not allow teasing, name calling, hissing, malice or rude behavior towards themselves. 6. The younger ones must respect the older ones and older ones must not bully their younger ones... mutual respect comes to play here! Give them age appropriate responsibilities and let the eldest be your deputy in enduring everyone follows through on assigned task. 7. Teach them the importance of brotherly and sisterly love and unity and from a tender age let them know that God put each of them in the same family to compliment each other. 8. Teach them to pray together and pray for each other. 9.Affirm your love for all of them by spending quality time together ( mother and or father with all her/ his / their children and not some of them). Understand their individual uniqueness and praise their achieves. 10. Try to do away with the act of favoritism, your children know when one is the favorite and could use that against you in future. Never use one child's weakness to compare him or her to the other sibling negatively. I pray our children will be best of friends, love each other, learn to confide in themselves, grow to own companies and work in unison. Things will turn around for good for our children, it is well with them in Jesus name amen. Yours truly,

Ezinne Adelaja